No. No I didn’t change the setting either. And no it’s not because Joe Jonas totally copied my engagement ring design for Sophie Turner’s ring. (Huge #GOT fan here).
A lot of you have been wondering about the new bling that’s been making appearances on my snapchat and/or Instagram stories. I’ve gotten questions about Varick, our wedding, our engagement, you name it. What if I told you that we’re completely fine with so much love for each other as fiancebaes and as best friends and that this ring was simply for me, from me?
Let me address the whole subject of narcissism before it entirely goes out of hand: There’s a huge difference between vanity and self love. Why people find that the most vain thing you can do in this society—when selfies are so prevalent and there’s so much about putting on your best face and appearance—I don’t know. For a good thing to come, you must know how much you deserve it first. And I sure as hell deserve it. So do you.
Getting married is huge for me. I’ve known I wanted to get married at the age where I was already fantasizing about being just like Little Mermaid. I knew exactly how it was gonna go down, what flowers, which dress and where. Though sadly had to pin it in my memory since this was pre-pinterest days.
The only thing I didn’t know about were the feelings one gets before walking down the aisle (and I’m not talking about cold feet here). I’m talking about losing yourself in the we and almost forgetting about yourself most times.
I believe that a marriage should consist of two wholes, not two halves to make a full one. I believe that you have to be fully equipped, independent and sure of yourself before you can vow to share yourself, be co-dependent and find certainty within another. Love is never worth losing yourself. Again, this never equals out to being selfish. I find myself loving my spouse more, the more I take care of myself.
And that is why I stopped looking for a half a long, long time ago. Only then did I find another whole, Varick. I realized I was already whole and not lacking.
Blamelessly love yourself on your own. Another person’s love should simply be another jewel to the crown you hold.
Did Varick question my new ring? Nope! He helped me decide on which one I should pick. We went to pick it out get it sized together from our family jeweler in the diamond district. Does this replace my engagement ring? No. Each ring is a reminder. One ring to remind me of his undying love, but most of all, the other to remind me to never lose myself through anything, even in marriage. The strength I have will be that same pillar for our marriage, and I would never want to lose that. I always want to be that independent, strong-willed, passionate girl you fell in love with, who knows how to stack simple jewely together. C’mon, stacking is so in right now, #amyrite?
And no you don’t need a diamond to remind yourself of self love. A few things I do on the daily that takes 5 minutes or less below:
- 3 minute meditation podcasts by Josie Ong.
- 1 solo date day – Whether that’s going for a pedi, or reading a book at the park or taking a few hours to go to the beach, these few hours for yourself will make a huge difference in your confidence, focus and overall relationship with your spouse/boyfriend.
- Dedicate doing one thing you love doing for yourself everyday – Whether that is getting glam in the morning, or taking extra time at night to do your skincare routine, that’s your time. Keep it for you.